The bible makes no mention of the Remington Beard Trimmer; no apostle is drawn with a Mexican handlebar. So when I see a man who has cultured his own lip rug my inner psychologist comes in to play. What's he trying to say? What statement is he making about himself. Does he think it makes him more attractive, more powerful? Doesn't it get crusty with snotters in winter?
And so, dear reader, I need hardly tell you that Dermot Desmond is a man of whom I have long harboured suspicions.
And yet this is not a time for any division amongst Celtic fans over some lip-rugged shyster or sharp-suited charlatan. There is time ahead for recriminations - for asking why we sold Artur Boruc without securing an adequate replacement, why chronic back pain should affect Aiden McGeady just before a Champions League qualifier, why we have a plethora of midfielders but not a proven, reliable goalscorer or for any talk of Shaun Maloney at all.
Celtic, and one man in particular, needs us. For sure, losing 3-0 away to Braga was not our club's finest hour. Nor, mind you was it remotely comparable to the Artmedia Bratislava or Neuchatel Xamax fiascos. But those who have given up do their club and its traditions an injustice.
Not so long ago, another Portuguese side, Benfica, was thrashed 3-0 at Celtic Park before returning the favour in their own ground a few weeks later. That is just one example of many occasions on which the atmosphere at Celtic Park - enough, according to Johann Mjallby to have had a seasoned visiting international vomit through fear of entering the arena - has been enough to empower our own side and crush the will of the opposition.
On Wednesday night, Celtic Park must play host to a good, old-fashioned, blood and thunder expression of united defiance. We can beat Braga by enough goals to go through and we must. For now, everything else is a side-issue.
And let's not forget the man under most pressure. Few have given more for or to Celtic. He served us well for years as captain of our most successful side for years. And let's not forget that he has endured the most vile racist, bigoted abuse for his troubles, culminating in his being attacked by thugs and left for dead in the street only to be taunted by Scotland's tabloid press.
Can we do it for Neil Lennon? Can we do it for Celtic? Bring them on.
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