Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Neil Lennon or Malkay Mackay for Celtic? Our survey says...

The power of the Scottish football media is once again manifesting itself in terms of all things Celtic,
yet another reason for depriving the smudged ink brigade publicity.

Of course such a statement always leaves room for the response that, by writing about them, you are fuelling the notoriety that you are advocating denying them. However, the alternative is to write in such obscure terms that very few people know what you're talking about.

So, let's cut to the chase and mention two new “candidates” for the Celtic Head Coach's job – one that our esteemed hacks seem to have forgotten is not actually vacant.

Firstly, we have Keith Jackson touting Neil Lennon for a return, now that he has been mutually consented out of Bolton Wanderers.

Jackson is as much a friend to Celtic as he is of truth, literary style and sartorial elegance. However, his idle speculation that Neil might be on for a second spell as Head Coach is, for some reason, being taken seriously.

Let's be clear. Neil has been a great servant to Celtic, both on and off the field (as well as the balance sheet, Mr Desmond!). He endured abuse and intimidation that no one should ever have to experience, far less because of his association with a football club.

For that reason, his standing rightly remains almost unassailably high; a position that could only be threatened by – say – co-operating with someone from a contemptible rag in order to shoehorn himself back into a job that he left voluntarily. (That's not to say that he has entertained Jackson and I hope he would not).

Let's not forget that Neil left for his own reasons, one being that it was no longer possible to have a team punch above its weight sufficiently to share the same space as a decent European team. It wasn't Neil's fault that the club was already on a downward trajectory before he left but then neither is there any evidence that the circumstances have improved in any way, rendering his return illogical.

I won't try to communicate that type of logic to anyone currently earning their living at the Record.

Then you have the absurd notion of Malky Mackay, one that was only put forward by Hugh Keevins, who matches Jackson in conceited absurdity while adding a splash of thinly-veiled bitterness.

Keevins was his usual attention-seeking self in proposing a candidate who he knew would instantly be savaged, if he was ever appointed, due to controversies around him. He has also faced accusations of wasting transfer cash, something that would immediately exclude him from the position.

Celtic's strategy needs to change – that much is clear to all but the most zealous board apologists. But, until that is done (which might well necessitate the replacement of Peter Lawwell, both in terms of allowing a new approach and regaining lost trust) coaches who have managed “down south” but currently find themselves short of options need not apply.

However, this is simply another illustration that Celtic fans should step up their efforts to smother what is left of the struggling mainstream news titles.

When these stories become widely circulated, their originators are often forgotten allowing malicious, destabilising myth to assume the status of rumour “from those in the know”.
We need a dignified discussion about the potential for our current coaching team – and these are not the types of conversations typically originated by self-promoting scribblers.
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Sunday, March 13, 2016

Lovable lazy goal machine Stokes providing all the wrong answers

THE BENCHMARK: Stokes takes a much-needed rest.
Like everything else, it was Ronny Deila's fault.

With a  team struggling for goals up front – that didn't come from Leigh Griffiths – Ronny looked to Nadir Çiftçi, who only marginally failed to live up to his name as the lowest point in the heavens.

Then he signed Carlton Cole – a striker recruited in a move reminiscent of Gordon Strachan's capturing of Dion Dublin. In fairness, Cole's record of eight goals in the previous two seasons eclipsed Dublin's tally of five in the two years prior to signing for the Hoops.

But they were both signed to bring “experience” – AKA a lack of pace – to the forward line and educate younger players from memory on the training ground. It would be unfair to compare Cole unfavourably to Dublin until our current star returns from leave and has had another seven games in which to match Dublin's goal tally of one.

By these standards, our current feint hope, Colin Kazim-Richards, is positively prolific with a whopping 12 goals since 2013, albeit having failed to score at all for approximately 12 months prior to that.

All of which should seem to point inexorably to Anthony Stokes, who had become increasingly frustrated by Ronny's “mystifying” decision to overlook his precocious talent, sometime effort and occasional anti-social behaviour.

It can't be easy being Stokes, balancing being a full-time Irish Republican hero with a part-time career as a professional footballer. Which of us hasn't felt moved to express public condolences for a friend who just happened to be a senior figure in the Real IRA?

Who among us has had to contend with a father barring the queen from his family boozer? Who hasn't seen an Elvis impersonator and wanted to grab him by his sideburns, leaving him all shook up?

So much for empathy – what about the player who, in the past, has rejected an offer to sign for Celtic under Gordon Strachan, withdrawn from an international squad because he was “tired”, been given a serious warning by Neil Lennon and overlooked by Ronny Deila?

It's fair to say that the weekend hasn't been a dream one for Stokesy. Having failed to add to his two championship goals in the League Cup final, it can hardly have cheered him to read Martin O'Neill's comments in the Irish Independent.

"It's important that he's back playing again," said O'Neill, "Anthony won't mind me saying 'Anthony is Anthony' - he's a talented player and I would say possibly (one of the) three laziest players I've ever seen. Lazily talented or talented lazily. I'm never sure which way it goes.

"Stokesey has got ability. He has been with me in a lot of squads before he had the altercation with Elvis."

It will be interesting to see how those fans who claimed to be flummoxed by his exclusion from Celtic squads react to such a frank dressing down from a manager whose stock is still high amongst the majority of supporters.

"Stokesie will not be happy now, I know this. You have ruined my relationship with him. Sorry, I have ruined my relationship with him," O'Neill quipped, like a man not overly perturbed by the potential loss of such mercurial talent.

The words of John Hughes – who, as a player, demonstrated how to make the best possible use of his abilities through hard work, determination and professionalism – must be echoing round the echo chamber that is Stokesy head:

“I then said to him – and I know this myself – 'When you leave Glasgow Celtic the only way is down, trust me son. Trust me. Do me another favour son. Go get yourself as fit as you can, get your head down and let your football do the talking'.”

Celtic's problems up front remain but it can safely be said that “Stokesy has left the building”.
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