New Celtic lies and spin can't mask abject failure

Wade through the euphemisms, the obscure language and the evasive waffle and Celtic's interim accounts, published yesterday, represent a total failure of the heralded strategy at Celtic Park.

So catastrophic has this been that, in any other company, the Chief Executive and chairman of the Board of Directors would be looking for new jobs.

Let's get one thing straight. Celtic chose not to invest adequately in the team during season 2008-10. Their rationale was this – that it would be in the club's financial interests to be “prudent”, to reduce debt and favour “banked cash”. Those of us who pointed to the fact that failure to invest in strengthening a defective squad would lead to us losing out on future revenues were decried as reckless or naïve.

The prevailing wisdom as espoused by that new breed inhabiting an increasingly notorious supporters' blog (it may be noted that an “independent” fan's site was able to publish the figures even before the official club website) was that this policy equated to wise stewardship of the club and it's much-vaunted pursuit of “zero debt”.

Well, while the accountants, the politicians, the spin merchants and their allies have been carrying on their programme of obfuscation, let's address some simple facts:

Debt increased from £0.97m to £3.13m
Turnover decreased by 22.8% to £36.11m

Perhaps it is time for someone at Celtic with the integrity, honesty or “moral courage” to confess that some of those fans who were so long taken for granted as fools, easily parted from their money, were right.

Celtic lost out on approximately £2m that would have been earned from the Peace Cup alone – due to the club's failure to win the SPL and automatic Champions League participation.

Celtic lost out on somewhere between £5m and £8 from Champions League participation.

The club also missed out on prize money that should have been attainable from the Scottish Cup and SPL title.

Now, while we await the accountants producing their boxes of tricks to tell us that around £10m in prize money and participation fees would not have wiped out £3.13m debts and left £6.87m over for player investment, let's look at the other elephant in the room.

Celtic plc – Dermond, Reid, Lawwell, Riley et al – calculated that they could pursue this policy and still expect Celtic fans to fund an approach that had abandoned the principles of competition, never mind the sporting traditions of Celtic. They were catastrophically wrong as attendances have shown.

They can point to the success of the away kit (conveniently overlooking the “international kit” that is unlikely to be needed any time soon) but more pertinent is the fact that increasingly the direction of Celtic resembles the flight of the bumblebee.

We are asked to believe that it is the “sustainable economic and business model” and financial stability” that “has delivered the continuing support of our kit manufacturer, Nike”.

And to think some of us thought that Nike invested in high-profile clubs with positive brand associations. We now know that they do not value a worldwide fan base and successful participation on the European stage but are instead keen to invest in businesses with the least radical accounting practices.

When the lies, selectively presented facts and evasion have passed. What will be left of Celtic?

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Celtic need a turnaround specialist

Apologies for the recent site glitches which were caused by allowing TwitterFeed access to the blog. Beware.


With the season – and any prospect of Champions League qualification – disintegrating before our eyes, Celtic need a steady hand on the tiller now more than ever. And with the latest rumblings being that change is imminent, it seems like a reasonable time to assess some of the likely candidates to take on the job, even on a short-term basis.

Needless to say, that means that the key man must either not be in a managerial job, for a short-term appointment, or must be in a job he could be tempted to leave in favour of a Celtic that is being run like a church raffle.

Here are a few of the likely and not-so-likely lads to be in the frame.

Wim Jansen
Don't rule it out. Jansen's one and only season at Celtic ended in a famous league title win. To do so, he took a talented squad inherited from Tommy Burns and basically just organised them. The football was nothing special and the team eventually stumbled over the line – failing to win two consecutive league games from February to May. However, his back-to-basics approach might be just what Celtic need.

Verdict: Stranger things have happened

George Burley
Not everyone's ideal choice, not least because he has been thought of as favouring Glasgow's most debt-ridden club. However, having been constantly undermined by the Blue half of the Tennent's sports sponsorship, Burley would relish the chance to cement his credentials as a coach.

He understands Scottish football and don't forget that his Hearts team was top of the SPL when he was sacked.

Verdict: Could do worse

Csaba László
Another man sacked by Hearts, which is no indictment of his abilities, László would be keen to take the job and knows the current SPL teams intimately. In his time with Hearts, they sometimes went from the sublime to the ridiculous but he has at least demonstrated some tactical awareness and motivational abilities.

Verdict: “Age and height restrictions apply”

Willie McStay
Long been rumoured as being groomed for the job one day, his first stint as a manager, with Ujpest, has been encouraging. Ironically, will know little of the current crop of players and has not really shown anything to suggest that he would make a dramatic short-term difference.

Verdict: No-risk option

Howard Wilkinson
Yes, let's consider a few left-field candidates. Wilkinson is not everyone's cup of tea but his coaching credentials are impeccable and he is the current chair of the League Managers Association. Let's not forget that he is still the last English manager to have won the English title.
Verdict: Safe hands

Kenny Dalglish
The last manager to have won the English title with two clubs, Dalglish infamously played a part in the John Barnes “Dream Team” briefly taking over as caretaker before being sacked on the say-so of Martin O'Neill. Some were disappointed in his time as coach but, dealing with an often fractious dressing room he axed a few stars and fired warning shots across the bows of a few others. He also had no fear of the Scottish media.

Verdict: Doesn't need the hassle.

Graeme Souness
And why not? Because most of us still despise the man? Yes, okay, but he's just the sort of person people turn to when they are desperate, though he often makes things worse. Would have to beat the R-word twice and win both remaining trophies to gain supporters trust.

Verdict: Aye, sure!

John Collins
Surprised many with his short-term impact at Hibs, winning the CIS Cup but leaving after a short time. Would almost certainly want to appoint Tommy Craig for his famed abilities to coach in the “pressing” game.

Verdict: Decent outside bet

Mick McCarthy
Wouldn't be everyone's choice and his relegation fight with Wolves would draw parallels with Tony Mowbray. However, he did perform very well with the Republic of Ireland and clearly actually wants the job.

Verdict: Unlikely

Roy Keane
The shadow looms again. What's more important – to be a good manager or to be a close associate of Dermot Desmond? Had a near miraculous start to his managerial career with Sunderland, taking them from bottom of the Championship to division winners in a few months. However, from then on it has all come apart at the seams, much like his adventure holiday as a Celtic player. Has a record of signing appalling players and is currently doing his best to get Ipswich relegated. Has also shown himself to be a quitter when the going gets rough.

Verdict: More probable than any rational person would dare to imagine

Paul Lambert
Many rumours that the powers that be have discussed the possibility of Lambert taking over, perhaps with Henrik Larsson as an assistant. Does a record involving Norwich City, Wycombe Wanderers, Colchester United and Livingston really mean you could step up to be Celtic manager? He has many admirers amongst the Celtic fans, though largely those who wouldn't know a pass-back from a pie and Bovril.

Verdict: Cheap, populist option likely to end in even more tears.

Roy Hodgson
Aye, we know. He already has a job, in London with a Premiership club. Hodgson has been linked with the Celtic job many times and his recent criticism of the “sugar-daddy culture” of football surely makes Celtic, where daddy comes home drunk and eats every morsel in the house, the ideal step up. Believed to be of sound mind so his appointment is therefore admittedly unlikely.

Verdict: At least he's not Sam Allardyce

Co Adriaanse
Yes, let's give his name a run-out. He has been keen to manage Celtic in the past and is currently in one of those “technical advisor” roles that coaches have instead of calling themselves unemployed. A legendary disciplinarian with eccentric methods, he has experience in several countries and won the Portuguese title with FC Porto.

Verdict: Wouldn't be dull

Giovanni Trapattoni
Everyone wants Trapattoni. The current Republic of Ireland manager is currently being courted by Nigeria to guide their World Cup bid but who says he couldn't do any two or even three jobs?

While those who dismiss the possibility think his proponents are living in Cloud Cuckoo Land, most have forgotten one thing: his wages in his current job are being partly covered by an Irish businessman; one Denis O'Brien.

And in what club do you think O'Brien currently holds about a 3% stake?

Verdict: Intriguing prospect

Slaven Bilić
One of the hot tips when Celtic decided to offer the job to Owen Coyle and then Tony Mowbray, Bilić has time on his hands, having recently failed to take Crotia to the World Cup. Very highly rated and thought to be destined for great things, he has nevertheless, never managed a club side but is an excellent organiser, tactician and motivator.

Verdict: Fate decrees otherwise

Leo Beenhakker
Another of the men perennially linked to our job and everyone else's, Beenhakker's recent failure with Poland did nothing to inspire confidence though he remains one of the outstanding coaches of his era. Famously decided enough was enough with our very own Artur Boruc and was described as a disaster for Polish football, which surely made the ears of our Financial Director, Eric Reilly, prick.

Verdict: Would revel in our Dutch defensive abilities

Mark McGhee
Yes, we know. This is what will probably happen. A solid Celtic man who played well for us, McGhee's famed lack of loyalty would ensure that he wouldn't hesitate to run out of Pittodrie without even checking that he had switched the chip pan off. You can tell that he scents an opportunity by his continuing reference to being a Celtic fan, though he would just as quickly manage the Huns, if given a chance.

Verdict: More than likely

Davie Moyes
Practically asked for the job in the summer but, given that he is one of the best British managers in the game, our leaders immediately discounted him from the running. Having seen what is happening with recruitment, he would probably have second thoughts about taking on the job but would be a wonderful appointment.

Verdict: Too good to be true

Mark Hughes
One of those much-touted British managers who has never really matched the hype with measurable achievements, Hughes is, however, conveniently out of work. There is every chance that he could turn the fortunes of the team around with the application of some common sense and a short-term project might appeal to him. However, there would then be the risk that he would be successful and the board would be under pressure to try to keep him, which would fill them with fear.

Verdict: Wouldn't say no

Steve McLaren
Gave us some great laughs as England manager, having been appointed on the basis of a mediocre record with Middlesbrough but McLaren has proved a point about his managerial abilities with an excellent performance in charge of FC Twente. Whether or not he would learn the language as well has he has mastered Dutch remains to be seen but the loveable prat of English football is clearly not a daft as he strives so successfully to appear.

Verdict: Bring your brolly, Steve

Artur Jorge
“... will today be named as Celtic's head coach, ending a ten-week search for the man to take the club into a new era.”

Verdict: Hugh Keevins vindicated at last.

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An open letter to Tony Mowbray

"It is not easy for men to rise whose qualities are thwarted by poverty."

"Hold it the greatest sin to prefer existence to honour, and for the sake of life to lose the reasons for living."

Juvenal

Dear Tony,

I rarely like to call for a manager's head, especially one that is such a short time in a job. However, the time has come for you to make your most important contribution to Celtic to date.

Tomorrow morning, I would urge you to call for a meeting with Peter Lawwell. At that meeting you should hand him your letter of resignation, stating only your willingness to remain in position until such time as a replacement can take up his new post. You should also make it clear that you will not be swayed on your decision.

I bear you no ill will. I remember your playing days and, though they were largely unsuccessful, you were always a committed professional and a credit to Celtic. In fact, that has been true of your behaviour as a manager and, while I believe your position to be untenable, I would also insist that you should feel no shame in failing to produce even a competent Celtic team.

I suspect that you have been working with one hand tied. Despite your claims to have wanted to sign Zheng Zhi – a decent footballer who nevertheless rarely plays – it was remarkable how quickly the Celtic marketing people produced a Chinese language version of the club's website after he signed. It was also a surprise that he made his debut in the most televised game of the season – against Rangers – given that he had come from a radically different footballing environment and local culture.

Strangely, when we signed Ki – another talented player, mind – there was apparent disappointment that he was ineligible to make his debut against Rangers in the next most televised match.

Okay, I'll come out and say it: I don't believe you have full authority in recruitment or even in naming the team. I believe that Celtic have maintained Japanese, Chinese and Korean players largely for the purposes of brand exposure and that these factors have directly influenced team selection.

It has been widely rumoured that you were unaware that Celtic had agreed to sell your then captain Stephen McManus to Ipswich and it is abundantly clear that you had no part in the signing of Robbie Keane. Of all the club's recent signings, I believe Keane to be the best and I for one am happy to have him.

However, it would be naïve to believe that this particular deal was not made at the behest of Dermot Desmond, who is assuredly culturing very influential alliances that may be extremely useful to him in the future.

Apparently you did want to sign Danny Fox, who was then sold in record time to be replaced by a loan signing, Edson Braafheid. Had you ever seen Braafheid play? He is certainly talented but far from being an assured defender. Had you ever seen Rogne, Hooiveld or Rasmussen? I am not saying that any of these are bad players. However, as I am sure you are aware, there is more to building a team than collecting players.

Who is the leader? It appears to me that it has been years since we had one. Surely any manager realises the wisdom of having “old heads” to help younger players learn some game craft. A loose association of individuals rarely succeeds at anything.

You are not alone in facing this problem. Gordon Strachan had Marc Crosas, Roy Keane, Thomas Gravesen and Du Wei, among others, foisted upon him by a coalition of scouts and executives. It was clearly this he was referring to when he insisted that at Middlesbrough, he was certainly not going to sign players he had not seen. For that he has been scorned in some quarters for signing players from the likes of Hibernian and Dundee Utd.

There are some who believe that the role of manager is unimportant – that he should just make the best of the materials provided to him. Those who believe that are at best fools and at worst cynical elements who will damage our club.

But, for all my sympathy – and I believe you should protect your reputation by revealing this, if it is true, rather than signing a confidentiality agreement – you have to take a major portion of the blame. The last straw was the substitution of Robbie Keane with 20 minutes remaining against Aberdeen. You must have been the only person watching that match who believed the points were safe at that point.

You had only to look at the fact that Aberdeen had been allowed to score twice already - against an allegedly full-strength side – to conclude that there was a clear danger that they might do so again. Before that, I thought that you would never make a more bizarre decision than to replace Aiden McGeady with Lee Naylor. How little I knew!

You have consistently shown yourself incapable of putting out a team that can control a game at its most crucial moments. Brian Clough always said that a team is at it's most vulnerable either side of half-time and just after they had scored. Why have you consistently failed to realise this?

Who told you that Marc-Antoine Fortune – again a decent footballer who panics when he has time on the ball in the box – should be your main striker? Why do you change the few functioning areas of the team from one week to the next? And do you really think that it was wise to mention Alex Ferguson's five lean years at Manchester United? Perhaps you have forgotten that we expect to win the league every year – especially against a club that is so debt-ridden that it is unable to sign players.

There is much that is rotten at the heart of Celtic and I feel sorry that your period of tenure is being tainted by it. I also sympathise with your disappoinment and it is clear that the Scottish officials are conspiring as never before to further hamper your ambitions. You are worthy of better. But so are we.

It seems that you are incapable of fielding a team that can match flair with the most meagre form of expediency. The problem is that someone else could yet win this league, even given the absurd points differential accrued on your watch. That is why it is important that you go now, while there remains a faint flicker of hope.

I sincerely hope that you will do as I ask and, if you do, I will wish you well. Don't let the fans' disappointment turn to bitterness.





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