The reality for The Rangers and Steven Gerrard? It's over!

Yes, we all saw him and heard what Steven Gerrard had to say but, then again, some of us saw Maurice Johnston in a Celtic shirt for his "second coming" and we all know how that finished.

So, Monday came and the least surprising thing that anyone watching Scottish football with half an eye for the truth or bare facts could have heard.

The Rangers have, allegedly, a new high-profile manager but no money or investors with which to fund his improbable aspirations.

I use the word, "allegedly" with good reason.

Yes, we all saw him and heard what he had to say but, then again, some of us saw Maurice Johnston in a Celtic shirt for his "second coming" and we all know how that finished.

Steven Gerrard may really have been so stupid as to have agreed to manage The Rangers with a maximum budget of £6m to spend on players but it would be very surprising.

Less surprising, given that we are dealing with Dave King, would be that Gerrard was spun a convincing line to get him to sign so that King could drum up cash through season ticket sales (which he would then go about pumping out of the club).

Banking on the fact that the newly-unveiled boss would be embarrassed into sticking to his part of the deal, King may have thought that Gerrard would just think that he had to lump it and hope for the best.

I could claim to have impeccably-placed sources to back that up but it would be untrue. However, the available facts and a little experience suggest that King's hastily-arranged move on Friday may have been football's equivalent of a resistable marriage proposal publicly made at your grandparents' golden wedding anniversary party.

Awkward to back out of after they have already popped another bottle of champagne.

But, if that is anything close to the truth, don't be surprised if Gerrard's advisers are already looking at ways to get out of the deal.

King will have calculated for that eventuality, probably why supporters were asked for their cash up front. No doubt a few thousand tickets were bought and paid for online between Friday and Monday, with the only surprise being that he didn't wait a few days longer before announcing that there were no new investors.

Yes, there will be some fans who are not so much unfailingly loyal as eternally gullible and feel that their only chance is to try to fund the Ibrox resurrection themselves.

But this posted on Twitter by John Bradshaw (@JBLuvsCeltic) provides the vital details that demonstrate just how desperate King's supposed share offer is and explains the departures of two directors last week - the share issue can't happen as King is facing action by the takeover panel.

So, even though £6m would have been nowhere near enough to improve The Rangers team, that money will not be there, either.

Effectively, Gerrard has a potential transfer budget of precisely zero of your British pounds.

And that would point to another likely outcome. Liquidation would see HMRC and preferred creditors recompensed before the likes of Gerrard saw a penny.

Like many other Scottish football fans, I tired long ago of "in the know" bloggers claiming to have an inside track on likely insolvency events but it does not seem at all improbable, given the circumstances.

Gerrard may take the chance to hobble through a season of grief and humiliation but, if he wants out, he will walk away.

King can jettison the whole shebang and he will not hesitate to do so if he deems it the most beneficial step for him.

But, one way or another, it seems to me that Scottish football will have to reconcile itself to a final dose of reality.

For Rangers, The Rangers and any other conceptual variation of The People's club, the message is clear.

It's over.

The Great Steven Gerrard Swindle? Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Reality

I have been wrong before but this move just doesn't add up

I do not like The Rangers Football Club. I don't dislike them with the same intensity that I did Rangers and I got a great sense of closure when Rangers were liquidated.

But any club emulating what I have always believed to have been a uniquely objectionable sporting institution is worthy of similar derision, though the stakes are less high for me, simply because we won.

Nonetheless, the new neighbours who moved in are noisy and do their best to be vexatious and even (especially) offensive. So, while, on a competitive level, I am much more concerned with Motherwell (for obvious reasons), Hibs, Kilmarnock, Aberdeen and, next season, St Mirren, the happenings at Ibrox are still worthy of comment.

I am not objective, as my first statement acknowledged. I'm biased, and speaking from a position of ill will towards The Rangers.

But, thus-declared, I have my own observations to make about the appointment of Steven Gerrard as the six-year-old Ibrox club's seventh manager.

The Player

Firstly, due respect: I liked him as a player and acknowledge that he was the best English midfielder of his generation and an all-time great English footballer.

But I have never believed that he would make a great manager because he always seemed to have a working-class sense of humility that, while endearing, was born of self-doubt whereas Frank Lampard exuded such confidence, displayed as smug arrogance, as to be guaranteed to rub me up the wrong way.

Don't get me wrong - I have always respected Lampard. In fact, I have always believed that he could make an excellent manager, which I have never believed of Gerrard.

Time will vindicate or condemn my superficial assessments but, amongst the undesired outcomes at The Rangers, Steven Gerrard taking over as boss has never registered.

Age-old Theme

For film buffs and those of a certain vintage, the last six years have been reminiscent of the Hollywood classic, Sunset Boulevard, in which an ageing "once-was" refuses to accept the realities of time and progress, surrendering any last vestiges of dignity in the process.

How Do I Look? Have I still got it?

Her increasingly desperate attempts make for compelling, if sometimes uncomfortable, viewing.

The Rangers demonstrate similar delusions, though the constantly-changing, increasingly-ridiculous storylines could have been churned out by the scriptwriters of River City.

McCoist, McCall, Warburton, Murty, Caixhinha, Murty, Nicholl, Gerrard. Between them, they have won League Two, League One, the Scottish Championship (at the second attempt) and the Petrofac and Dry Blackthorn cups.

Candidates

At the turn of the year, Derek McInnes was approached. Deek, the most transparently dishonest, Ibrox-hearted Aberdeen manager since Jimmy Calderwood, did everything short of baring his bearded backside in order to show his preference for the Glaswegian imposters over his current employers. But still, somehow, he couldn't bring himself to cash in on the points gift he had sent in advance, so troubling were his doubts about the club's financial stability.

That disappointed me as I was quite sure that he would fail at Ibrox. But he also surprised me. Never appearing to be the sharpest tool in the box, Deek nevertheless made a wise judgement.

I wasn’t unduly troubled, though I would have felt better if he had been in the bag – a few months can bring untold changes and that might mean improvements.

And so I wondered if there was the possibility of some new investment, however improbable, from the Bank of China or some such institution looking for a high-profile presence.

In the meantime, the next obvious candidate would have been Steve Clarke. This prospect bothered me a little.

Clarke has a varied and high-level coaching background, has done an excellent job with Kilmarnock and could surely do much more with the sort of funding that, even The Rangers could likely find, given his reputation and extensive list of contacts.

He also comes across as an intelligent guy, which was why I was fairly confident that he would decline any offer.

Then there was Steven Robinson, whose style (if you can call it that) I dislike intensely.

Robinson is a throwback to days that should be long gone, using physicality and a peppering of brutality to good effect against superior football teams.

Robinson is reminiscent of a young Jimmy Nicholl – staunch, no one likes him and he doesn’t care. So, in that sense he would have been a good fit at Ibrox, though not box office.

He’d have straightened them out in terms of being organised and aggressive but he wouldn’t have sold season tickets, so he was a non-starter.

Then there were the “Warnocks”. Of course, there is only one Neil Warnock but I use the term to describe one of those experienced firefighting bosses, who English chairmen turn to when their clubs are in distress.

The kind who have lived with the intense daily pressure, fans calling for their heads, the press pack stitching them up and who, year after year, come back for more.

He is one of many who just might have done a job – at least on an interim basis – finding a tactical approach to favour a desperate situation and maybe even swinging a cup or two.

But what The Rangers got was the much-admired player and virgin manager, Steven Gerrard.

He thinks it's all over: An emotional Gerrard so close to a title

This pleased me greatly, for a number of reasons.

Map-reading

Firstly, “it puts Scottish football on the map” – no, it doesn’t. Scottish football was already on the map and our own Brendan Rodgers has done a great deal to make that happen.

Brendan was the bookies’ second-favourite for the England manager’s job, within a few weeks of joining Celtic, after Roy Hodgson resigned. He has also been quoted as a likely candidate for most half-decent prospects in the English Premier League, including Chelsea, and was heavily-linked with the soon-to-be-vacant Arsenal job.

So, Scottish football is getting plenty of attention from down south and beyond, which is partly why we have Moussa Dembele, Olivier Ntcham and Odsonne Edouard. It was also quite probably a factor in attracting Clarke to Kilmarnock, persuading Youssouf Mulumbu that he could reset his career there and convincing Steven Caulker that a season at Dundee would be worth a try.

These things have all been excellent for Scottish football as has the work Neil Lennon has done at Hibs, building a very promising team.

Having Gerrard in Scotland will generate more interest and perhaps persuade the likes of Aberdeen and Hearts to consider experienced, progressive managers, who would not have been available to them two years ago.

Why else would I be happy that Gerrard is there?

Having a rookie coach thrown into a torrid situation is obviously a bonus for rivals, but the lack of tactical experience is only one element.

Leadership

Leadership is said to be one of Gerrard’s strengths but that is the sort of glib comment uttered by people who have little or no understanding of the skills and qualities associated with leadership in modern-day football.

Personally, I have never felt Gerrard to be a great on-field leader. If he had been, perhaps he would have won a league title in his career.

But, that aside, leading by example is a very different prospect to leading through communication.

This is something that the majority of ex-pros and Scottish football pundits seem never to have considered.

Book-learning

As a hobbyist blogger, I am very much a half-assed amateur when it comes to football. However, I do read about the game and biographical works about football managers reveal some common themes.

First is that a little reading about football demonstrates that, in the modern game, old-fashioned techniques are largely obsolete, partly due to increased education as well as the changing dynamics brought about by huge salaries.

Even in the lower reaches of the English game, managers study various psychological techniques, including drawing on successful leadership and motivation strategies from other sports.

St Mirren’s Jack Ross gives indications of this sort of thinking but he is one of a very few in Scotland to allude to this. I have my doubts about whether Gerrard has been similarly studious but you can guarantee that Pep Guardiola and Zinedine Zidane did so before entering management. Ryan Giggs? I’m guessing not.

Second, is the intense, nigh-on intolerable pressure, which seems to increase year-on-year. Gordon Strachan recently spoke of sitting in Glasgow holding hands with his wife hoping it would get better, when first in the Celtic manager’s job.

But look at the physical changes that took place in Slaven Bilic, once one of the coolest young managers in the game but who appeared to be collapsing before our eyes before he was finally released from his West Ham purgatory.

Before & After: Two years took their toll on Slaven Bilic

Likewise, Antonio Conte – looking like an Italian film star on his arrival, exuding confidence to the point of mania but latterly resembling someone recounting his traumatic survival of an earthquake – one year after winning the League on his first attempt.

Before & After: Antonio Conte

The Rangers is one of the least forgiving and most unreasonable clubs in football and Gerrard – neither an insider nor one whose England performances cut much ice in Scotland – will discover this when unrealistic expectations are not fulfilled.

Circumstantial evidence

But, more than this, are the circumstantial factors.

According to the media mania, his name alone will attract top-quality players and investment has been promised.

But let’s look at that rationally.

As recently as Friday, Dave King couldn’t even state if the necessary investment would be internal or external, claiming that it “didn’t matter”.

Now, far be it from me to call King a glib and shameless liar, but the empirical evidence is against this mystery investment existing.

A few weeks ago, The Rangers signed a third-rate kit deal that was derided by a large proportion of their own fans.

So, it seems safe to assume that the club hadn’t even thought of signing Gerrard at the time, as having such a big name manager on board – with exciting signings to come – would surely have been a bargaining chip in negotiations with Nike, Adidas or even New Balance.

Secondly, having promised a manager “capable of delivering trophies”, just in time to undermine Graeme Murty (and make this blogger’s concerns that The Rangers would run Celtic close in the Scottish Cup semi-final seem like frightful anxiety), King has appointed someone who can offer no evidence of the same.

Again, that sounds awfully like someone who had no idea that Gerrard would be boss, just a couple of weeks ago.

And yet, with a multi-million-pound war chest arriving any day now, The Rangers would surely have felt confident of luring a manager who had actually won something in the past – or at least managed a team – and who would back up Dave’s promise of Silverado.

We are also invited to believe that, on the cusp of a brave new era, two directors decided that they wanted to bail out before the times got truly exciting.

Add to this the debt, the issues with the takeover panel, the need for stadium repairs, etc. and the Steven Gerrard appointment looks more and more like a swindle perpetrated on someone who knows little or nothing about The Rangers or the Scottish game, aided and abetted by the most ignorant and unscrupulous shower of reporters that have ever covered any sport.

I’ve been wrong before, of course – like when I thought that we would face a few scares in the cup semi – but, at face value, this whole episode looks not so much a damp squib as a custard pie primed with a banger, ready to explode in a lot of faces.

Sympathy for the Red?

I suppose I could sympathise with Gerrard, who seems to have displayed that English-football arrogance of thinking that Scotland should be a soft-touch and a shortcut to the top.

I suppose I could predict that Brendan, Neil, Clarke, Robinson, Ross and even McInnes or Levein will take great pleasure in bringing the big-shot rookie down to earth, with a mixture of tactics, man-management and experience at the coal face, and that we should go easy on someone who has been pretty inoffensive, thus far.

I could but, on reflection – nah – f*ck him!

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No time for gloating as too-casual Celtic players stumble to 5-0 victory over The Rangers

Shameless bullying of inept opponents does nothing for sportsmanship or competition

I have never been a big brother. I have, however, been a younger brother.

Some of you will know how it feels (fraternal-sororial relations can have a similar dynamic).

Big bro is forced to play a ballgame with you.

He grudgingly goes along with it for a while, even occasionally being supportive and perhaps maybe instructive.

But he tires of of this. Because it's too easy, because it’s not cool and because his heart was never in it in the first place.

He scores again and again, however hard you try.

He starts to try stupid tricks, just to entertain himself by teasing you. And he can pull them off because you are younger and weaker than him.

And then, he picks up the ball and holds it above his head. You know how it feels.

You jump but he is taller and his arms are longer. You try to push him but he’s heavier and stronger.

It’s frustrating and not fair but he won’t stop and won’t even play the game with you.

Eventually, you get called in for your tea, which ends the misery but leaves you hating him and, perhaps with tears, saying: “Just you wait! One day!”

It’s absolutely not cool and is, in fact, a form of bullying, which might be forgiven when perpetrated by adolescents but never by fully-grown adults.

So, I was dismayed to see Celtic bullying The Rangers in a similar manner on Sunday.

Sure, their opponents didn’t really belong on the same park and were only even there at all because the patriarchs of Scottish football used their authority to insist that the Little Boys Blue be allowed to play.

But nobody gains from toying with the opposition and taking advantage of their obvious weakness and ineptitude.

Andy Murray didn’t become a Wimbledon singles champion because his brother Jamie got bored with competing and held him down, saying: “Stop hitting yourself.”

For the first five goals, Celtic were playing an honourable game – “respecting their opponents” – and actually competing.

But the players seemed to forget that seven, eight, nine or ten goals would have shown more regard for their fellow professionals on the field – and even taught them something for a future date – than sauntering around casually swinging at the ball and generally acting the annoying big brother with some kid who only moved in six years ago and has been pleading for acceptance, ever since.

Instead, the extreme superiority of Celtic was used in order to leave admirable pros like Graham Dorrans, Andy Halliday, Daniel Candeilas and Alfredo Morelos, saying, “Just you wait”, through gritted, gnashing teeth.

Mark these words – the Celtic players will rue the day that they bullied and toyed with those grudge-bearing children from the neighbourhood.

Some time very soon, The Rangers are coming.




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