Lovable lazy goal machine Stokes providing all the wrong answers

THE BENCHMARK: Stokes takes a much-needed rest.

Like everything else, it was Ronny Deila's fault.

With a  team struggling for goals up front – that didn't come from Leigh Griffiths – Ronny looked to Nadir Çiftçi, who only marginally failed to live up to his name as the lowest point in the heavens.

Then he signed Carlton Cole – a striker recruited in a move reminiscent of Gordon Strachan's capturing of Dion Dublin. In fairness, Cole's record of eight goals in the previous two seasons eclipsed Dublin's tally of five in the two years prior to signing for the Hoops.

But they were both signed to bring “experience” – AKA a lack of pace – to the forward line and educate younger players from memory on the training ground. It would be unfair to compare Cole unfavourably to Dublin until our current star returns from leave and has had another seven games in which to match Dublin's goal tally of one.

By these standards, our current feint hope, Colin Kazim-Richards, is positively prolific with a whopping 12 goals since 2013, albeit having failed to score at all for approximately 12 months prior to that.

All of which should seem to point inexorably to Anthony Stokes, who had become increasingly frustrated by Ronny's “mystifying” decision to overlook his precocious talent, sometime effort and occasional anti-social behaviour.

It can't be easy being Stokes, balancing being a full-time Irish Republican hero with a part-time career as a professional footballer. Which of us hasn't felt moved to express public condolences for a friend who just happened to be a senior figure in the Real IRA?

Who among us has had to contend with a father barring the queen from his family boozer? Who hasn't seen an Elvis impersonator and wanted to grab him by his sideburns, leaving him all shook up?

So much for empathy – what about the player who, in the past, has rejected an offer to sign for Celtic under Gordon Strachan, withdrawn from an international squad because he was “tired”, been given a serious warning by Neil Lennon and overlooked by Ronny Deila?

It's fair to say that the weekend hasn't been a dream one for Stokesy. Having failed to add to his two championship goals in the League Cup final, it can hardly have cheered him to read Martin O'Neill's comments in the Irish Independent.

"It's important that he's back playing again," said O'Neill, "Anthony won't mind me saying 'Anthony is Anthony' - he's a talented player and I would say possibly (one of the) three laziest players I've ever seen. Lazily talented or talented lazily. I'm never sure which way it goes.

"Stokesey has got ability. He has been with me in a lot of squads before he had the altercation with Elvis."

It will be interesting to see how those fans who claimed to be flummoxed by his exclusion from Celtic squads react to such a frank dressing down from a manager whose stock is still high amongst the majority of supporters.

"Stokesie will not be happy now, I know this. You have ruined my relationship with him. Sorry, I have ruined my relationship with him," O'Neill quipped, like a man not overly perturbed by the potential loss of such mercurial talent.

The words of John Hughes – who, as a player, demonstrated how to make the best possible use of his abilities through hard work, determination and professionalism – must be echoing round the echo chamber that is Stokesy head:

“I then said to him – and I know this myself – 'When you leave Glasgow Celtic the only way is down, trust me son. Trust me. Do me another favour son. Go get yourself as fit as you can, get your head down and let your football do the talking'.”

Celtic's problems up front remain but it can safely be said that “Stokesy has left the building”.
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